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" God, dude, stop saying that. Your hair wouldn't have even been wet ifI hadn't decided we needed to skip lunch." But Heidi and her friends were skipping lunch, too, and they're theones who threw the water balloons." Yeah, but I--" Don't you think it's kinda unfair they didn't get in any trouble?"Yeah, I'd thought about it. I'd thought about it off and on allafternoon. It was unfair. Those water balloons didn't spontaneouslygenerate. They were thrown by other students breaking the exact samerules we had broken. I told Sarah, "Yeah, I do think it's unfair. Andthe more I think about it, the more I think it's not your fault or myfault at all." Well--"No, I wasn't letting this go. Sarah had stirred my sense of outrage."Let's put the blame where it belongs, okay? It's Heidi Fleegleman'sfault. And her friends. They didn't have to bombard us. And theywere off campus, too. How did they get back and just carry on?" Same way we did?" Well, probably."By the time we hung up, I wasn't. " Ah, but I did so on my terms, not yours. Now get up and come with me,unless you want to sleep here on the sofa tonight."My visibly nervous husband reluctantly got up and followed me back toour bedroom. I went straight for the entrance to the master bath, butdidn't enter. Instead, I turned to my husband and reached up to caresshis cheek and chin with my hand."Oooh, you need to shave, off you go. Oh, and skip the aftershave." Oh no, I'm not going to let you do to me what that guy did in thevideo. Besides, what you are asking me to do is far more demeaning thanyou acting out as a sex crazed French maid." You think so? All right then, tell you what, I'll give you a choice.You can either let me make you up as a woman, or YOU can put on theFrench maid's uniform, sit on MY lap, spoon feed ME yogurt, making withthe baby talk until I become so sexually aroused that I drag you off tothe bedroom. There I will entertain a new fantasy. I will tie youspread eagle to the bed. Then I will get my.
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